Thursday, November 10, 2011

Making a committment to committees

I have Helium Hand syndrome, I tend to volunteer far too much for things when I really ought not to.  I have been trying very hard to scale back my volunteering since I had child number 3, but I still managed to get myself on a local committee last year.  The AGM is looming, so I have made a decision to step down from the committee and hand the responsibilities to another poor soul worthy person, but I still feel a bit guilty, like I haven't done enough.

If I apply my Wise Brain to this problem, I can point out all the things I have done, all the events I have helped with, the fundraising I have done, the administration and the leg-work.  I know rationally that I have helped a lot more that some people and a lot less than others, and that is nothing to be ashamed of, but I also know that if I step down, the workload is likely to fall back onto someone who is already overloaded.

Herein lies the problems of committees.  The people who care enough to join a committee and make an effort are always the same people in any community, so you end up with half a dozen people trying to fundraise and work for a hundred committees while the rest of the community sit back and go "ooh I don't know how you have time!"

I am also getting to a stage of my life when there I just cannot be bothered with cliques, snippy comments and bitchy behaviour. I've worked hard through therapy to be able to speak my mind in a calm and reasonable way without feeling guilty or worrying about offending people, and I'll be damned if I am going to get caught up in catfights between grown adults who ought to know better.  If anyone reading this blog thinks I am writing about them, then more fool them.  If I have a problem with someone, I try to sort it out with them directly.  This post is a general rant about crappy behaviour in adults I know both online and in real life.

This is where social media can be a real problem too.  Internet message boards, Facebook, Twitter and their ilk are all too easy to post in without giving yourself time to calm down, think things through and behave like a rational adult.  Even if you immediately regret and delete your words, someone out there will have read them and got the hump about it.

I read in one of my internet cubby holes that before you post something when you're feeling angry or upset you should Think, Wait, Answer, Tenderly.
  Sooo, if you're angry about something, before you post online for the world to see, just take a moment and T.W.A.T. it.


Shackleford Hurtmore said...

I love the idea of the Helium Hand. I have become selfish and stopped volunteering for things since I moved to NZ. I now have a Lead Hand.
I used to help with a youth group a few years back, and we would take groups of kids away for the weekend to do fun stuff, and parents would grumble about having to drop their kids off so early in the morning / late at night and ask if we could collect them from their houses. I had to try to remember I was doing things for the kids, not their lazy ass parents.
I have a drafts folder full of emails I've never sent (top tip: don't put recipient address in until you are SURE you are sending it to prevent accidentally initiating nuclear email war).
Whatever happened to your Google Ads? I used to like clicking on the relevant ones.

Louise said...

I took off the Adsense thing as I was getting no money from it, so I figured why clutter up my blog with ads if I get nothing out of them :)

austingurl said...

I hear ya! if comities and service clubs are to be sucsesful it requires ALL THE PEOPLE to help. not just the same 6 people over and over and over and over and over and...well you get the picture. unfortunatly human beings are not hard wired to help others, but, rather hard wired to help them selves and their imidiate families. It takes alot of commitment and compassion, both of which are learned behaviours in my opinion, from induviduals for comities to work. unfortunatrly its not somthing that all young children are taught.

I am happy to help if called upon and if people I know are in need of help, but a commitey or thanks.

Possum said...

Hah!! Love the concept of the helium hand!

Jen said...

Been there, done that with committees. I now staple gun my hands to the chair and then sit on them for good measure....