Thursday, March 20, 2014

A trip down memory lane - Crispin's Hour

Crispin. The dog with an unpleasant secret.

Character List
Cheryl: up-and-coming young journalist
Darryl: unrequited lover of Cheryl
Murgatroid: Evil and conniving aunt of Darryl
Edmondo: Dishevelled husband of Murgatroid
Crispin: The dog with an unpleasant secret.

Scene One

It is a dark and stormy night. Crispin is cowering in his Doggy-bed . Murgatroid is mumbling stage left

Murgatroid: Stage left, stage left....WAAAAARGH!
Enter Darryl, flustered
Darryl: Oh Aunty, are you all right?
Murg: shaking and looking wildly out of the window Oh..oh's out there.
Darryl: What. What's out there. Oh Aunty.
Murg: I knew it. It was only a matter of time...and now it's here.
Darryl: What Aunty? I...I don't understand.
Murg: You know who it's come for don't you? Darryl shakes his head CRISPIN!!!
They both trun slowly and look accusingly at Crispin.
Crispin: Bark?

Scene two

Cheryl's bedroom. Cheryl is combing her hair in front of the mirror.

Cheryl: Maybe I'll meet a beautiful young man called Sigmund tonight. Ho hum.
Suddenly lightening rips across the sky, lighting up the landscaped garden as clear as day.
Cheryl: What terribly nasty weather The phone rings Oo! Who can that be.
Darryl: Cheryl? Aunty's having a nasty turn. Could you come over and help me give her, her medicine?
Cheryl: I don't know Darryl, I am supposed to be going out tonight.
Darryl: It won't take long. Oh please Cheryl, for Crispin's sake.
Cheryl: Oh very well. But I can't stay long. They hang up

Scene three

Darryl is looking concernedly out of the window, Murgatroid is vibrating gently in the corner, Crispin is staring inanely at his Doggy-bone and Edmondo is hobbling across the room.

Edmondo: Are you all right dear?
Murg: Wibble muffin pie.
Darryl: Don't disturb her Uncle, she's had a nasty turn.
Edmondo: Oh piffle. I had a nasty accident with a seed drill you know!
They both go into a respectful silence
Cheryl: off stage Darryl? Oh Darryl?
Darryl: In here Cheryl
Enter Cheryl
Cheryl: How is she?
Edmondo: She's vibrating again.
Cheryl: Oh no. You know what that means don't you?
Edmondo and Darryl look questioningly at Cheryl. Cheryl looks at Crispin. Crispin begins to hum various excerpts from Andrew Lloyd-Webber musicals. Or so it seems....

Scene four

Everyone is gathered around the fire as the evening becomes cold and intimidating

Enter Darryl
Darryl: She's asleep. She whispered something about it being Crispins hour.
Edmondo: Crispin's asleep too. She was just delirious.
Cheryl: I've phone Antony, I've cancelled our date.  I understand what you're going through.
Crispin gets up and saunters over to the fireplace dragging his Doggy-pillow.
Darryl: That's strange. Crispin never usually leaves his Doggy-bed.
Cheryl: Oh my God!
Edmondo and Darryl: What?!
Cheryl: Do you not know what that means?
Darryl: It can't be!
Edmondo: I'm afraid it is.
Cheryl: Crispin's got an unpleasant secret!
They all turn slowly and stare at Crispin. Crispin looks at the audience, and his bewildered eyes glow gently.
Crispin: Yap.

Scene five

Everyone is sitting looking at Crispin, whose eyes are glowing in a most disturbing manner,

Edmondo: Prove it to us Crispin.
Cheryl: Prove it isn't true
Crispin slowly pulls a red coat out of his Doggy-pillow. It has a holiday camp badge attached to the sleeve.
Darryl: Oh no!!
Cheryl: Oh Crispin, how could you?
Edmondo: So he worked for Butlins, did he? That's nothing. I once had a nasty accident with a seed drill.
Crispin: Damn Jethro Tull.