I have a theory, that when you feel under attack - mentally or physically - you start behaving the age you were during the most traumatic moment in your memory. This is backed up by my behaviour - truculent teen - and my hubby's - unreasonable toddler.
When I feel threatened, I get paranoid and grumpy and start acting like the selfish teenager I was. I think this is because I had some "issues" as a teen that stand out most in my mind compared to other happier memories. Hubby lost his Nana when he was 6 and it hit him hard, as he was very close to his Nana, so when he feels threatened he turns into a stubborn toddler.
This causes some interesting arguments in the Ratcliffe household, when Grumpy Teen meets Stubborn Toddler. Things get thrown, doors get slammed, feet get stamped. We both go off and sulk for a bit, then when we've both grown up again we get back together and sort it out like adults.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
The long and whining road
I now understand why my Mum smacked my brother and me. Especially my brother.
My brother was a whiner, and so is my oldest. When Mapera wants something, she whines; when she doesn't get it, she whines; when I tell her no, she whines; when her sister annoys her, she whines; when her sister is playing happily and singing, Mapera whines cos she doesn't want Kaitereo to have a good time without her assistance; when Kaitereo is playing but not doing something The Way According to Mapera, Mapera whines and shrieks and pushes her sister around.
It seems to be a constant white noise in our house, which worsens when Mapera is tired. She is tired a lot at the moment, because school is hard work for a little person. She has a 6 day week with ballet, which makes her more tired. She has been waking in the night lately, for reasons known only to herself, so she is tired in the day. If she sleeps in the day, she is awake late at night, then she is tired getting up early and so the cycle continues.
On top of the whining, everyone in the house has a cold. Tareka is at the flu end of the spectrum, constantly clearing his throat and coughing and standing around looking dazed. I am not a sympathetic nurse, in fact I am the opposite of sympathetic, in a positively deliberate way. I get annoyed when people are sick; mainly because they get in my way being all pathetic and dribbly and generally being rubbish and not helping. If you are sick, go away until you are better and can help me properly, otherwise you are just another person I have to look after.
I have a cold too, but I can't stand around looking dazed, because there are 3 short people in the house who like to spend their time making completely unreasonable demands like "be a fairy" and "get the playdough" and "feed me". I am also trying not to intervene in the arguments as much, unless things turn violent, and it works in that I am not leaping in every 5 minutes to determine who gets the pink Barbie and who gets the purple one; but I am subjecting my poor ears to a lot more of the high-pitched shrieking that goes along with girls working out peaceful resolutions to their differences.
School is doing Mapera the world of good, despite the tiredness. Her teacher assessed her recently, to get a base-line for further assessment, and to determine where she is in terms of reading, writing and comprehension. One test involved the teacher reading out increasingly complicated sentences to her, which Mapera had to repeat back to the teacher as accurately as possible. The teacher told me that most children get the meaning of the sentence, but get a few words wrong, such as saying "flied" instead of "flew"; Mapera got every word of every sentence. 28 out of 28.
Her intelligence is wonderful and I am obviously very proud of her, but I am now barraged with a whole new set of questions "how do I write 'important' Mummy?" "what does 'dislodged' mean Mummy?" "what does this say Mummy?". Her little sister is at the constant question stage too. My kids didn't go through a "why" phase, oh no. My kids went straight from "what dat?" to "what would happen if all the cows were people, and all the people were cows?"
Kaitereo also likes to tell you her plans for the next 5 minutes up to the next 5 years in ever increasing detail "Mummy, I got a monkey card. When we next go to the zoo with Omi, I am going to take the monkey card, so I can show the monkey, ok Mummy? Ok Mummy? OK Mummy?" this sort of conversation requires more response than a grunt and a nod, or it becomes a louder and louder chant of "OK MUMMY? OK MUMMY?" until your ears bleed and you'll agree to anything at all just to stop the noise.
Despite this, my ovaries are trying to convince me that babies are really cute and nice and that I should have another one so that Hakopa can have a buddy closer to his age, and so he won't get left out of things with the girls. My sane and rational brain tells my ovaries that I do not wish to endure the discomfort of pregnancy with 3 short people to look after, and most definitely wants to avoid the nastiness of childbirth again, but my ovaries are not rational and just keep going "but looook at him, he's all alooooone and he needs a little friend".
I have been known to shout "I'll get him a puppy when he's older!" at my nether regions, I think I may be able to convince them with a particularly cute puppy.
My brother was a whiner, and so is my oldest. When Mapera wants something, she whines; when she doesn't get it, she whines; when I tell her no, she whines; when her sister annoys her, she whines; when her sister is playing happily and singing, Mapera whines cos she doesn't want Kaitereo to have a good time without her assistance; when Kaitereo is playing but not doing something The Way According to Mapera, Mapera whines and shrieks and pushes her sister around.
It seems to be a constant white noise in our house, which worsens when Mapera is tired. She is tired a lot at the moment, because school is hard work for a little person. She has a 6 day week with ballet, which makes her more tired. She has been waking in the night lately, for reasons known only to herself, so she is tired in the day. If she sleeps in the day, she is awake late at night, then she is tired getting up early and so the cycle continues.
On top of the whining, everyone in the house has a cold. Tareka is at the flu end of the spectrum, constantly clearing his throat and coughing and standing around looking dazed. I am not a sympathetic nurse, in fact I am the opposite of sympathetic, in a positively deliberate way. I get annoyed when people are sick; mainly because they get in my way being all pathetic and dribbly and generally being rubbish and not helping. If you are sick, go away until you are better and can help me properly, otherwise you are just another person I have to look after.
I have a cold too, but I can't stand around looking dazed, because there are 3 short people in the house who like to spend their time making completely unreasonable demands like "be a fairy" and "get the playdough" and "feed me". I am also trying not to intervene in the arguments as much, unless things turn violent, and it works in that I am not leaping in every 5 minutes to determine who gets the pink Barbie and who gets the purple one; but I am subjecting my poor ears to a lot more of the high-pitched shrieking that goes along with girls working out peaceful resolutions to their differences.
***
School is doing Mapera the world of good, despite the tiredness. Her teacher assessed her recently, to get a base-line for further assessment, and to determine where she is in terms of reading, writing and comprehension. One test involved the teacher reading out increasingly complicated sentences to her, which Mapera had to repeat back to the teacher as accurately as possible. The teacher told me that most children get the meaning of the sentence, but get a few words wrong, such as saying "flied" instead of "flew"; Mapera got every word of every sentence. 28 out of 28.
Her intelligence is wonderful and I am obviously very proud of her, but I am now barraged with a whole new set of questions "how do I write 'important' Mummy?" "what does 'dislodged' mean Mummy?" "what does this say Mummy?". Her little sister is at the constant question stage too. My kids didn't go through a "why" phase, oh no. My kids went straight from "what dat?" to "what would happen if all the cows were people, and all the people were cows?"
Kaitereo also likes to tell you her plans for the next 5 minutes up to the next 5 years in ever increasing detail "Mummy, I got a monkey card. When we next go to the zoo with Omi, I am going to take the monkey card, so I can show the monkey, ok Mummy? Ok Mummy? OK Mummy?" this sort of conversation requires more response than a grunt and a nod, or it becomes a louder and louder chant of "OK MUMMY? OK MUMMY?" until your ears bleed and you'll agree to anything at all just to stop the noise.
Despite this, my ovaries are trying to convince me that babies are really cute and nice and that I should have another one so that Hakopa can have a buddy closer to his age, and so he won't get left out of things with the girls. My sane and rational brain tells my ovaries that I do not wish to endure the discomfort of pregnancy with 3 short people to look after, and most definitely wants to avoid the nastiness of childbirth again, but my ovaries are not rational and just keep going "but looook at him, he's all alooooone and he needs a little friend".
I have been known to shout "I'll get him a puppy when he's older!" at my nether regions, I think I may be able to convince them with a particularly cute puppy.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Parting
My heart was near to breaking,
it was more than I could bear.
She turned and slowly walked away,
and left me standing there.
I knew it had to happen,
one day she'd be leaving me;
but I never knew the heartache,
or the wrench that it would be.
For five short years she'd been all mine,
to cherish and adore.
Now someone else would share her,
she was mine alone no more.
I was tempted to run after her,
am I really such a fool?
Doesn't every Mother feel this way
on their child's first day at school?
it was more than I could bear.
She turned and slowly walked away,
and left me standing there.
I knew it had to happen,
one day she'd be leaving me;
but I never knew the heartache,
or the wrench that it would be.
For five short years she'd been all mine,
to cherish and adore.
Now someone else would share her,
she was mine alone no more.
I was tempted to run after her,
am I really such a fool?
Doesn't every Mother feel this way
on their child's first day at school?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Early Father's Day present
1. What is something Daddy always says to you?
M: Don't hit your little sister
K: Don't hit my big sister
2. What makes Daddy happy?
M: Smiling at him
K: You playing with us when Daddy's gone to work
3. What makes Daddy sad?
M: When we go away
K: Walking into the playroom
4. How does your Daddy make you laugh?
M: By poking a face
K: penis penis
5. What did your Daddy like to do when he was little?
M: join the fire brigade
K: play with you
6. How old is your Daddy?
M: 22
K: this big [standing on tiptoe with arms raised]
7. How tall is your Daddy?
K: This big [photo]
M: no this big, I?m bigger [photo]
8. What is his favorite thing to watch on TV?
M: The news
K: Garfield
9. What does your Daddy do when you're not there?
M: Talks to Kaitereo or talks to hisself
K: play with Mapera
10. What is your Daddy really good at?
M: building
K: aeroplane
11. What is your Daddy not very good at?
M: reaching things cos he sometimes gets the wrong thing
K: not working
12. What does your Daddy do for his job?
M: works at the airport. He says NO to everything
K: he builds his shed
13. What is your Daddy's favourite food?
M: Meat
K: Cake
14. What makes you proud of your Daddy?
M: being a prince
K: give me cuddles
15. If your Daddy were a cartoon character, who would he be?
M: Mickey Mouse
K: Dorothy the Dinosaur
16. What do you and your Daddy do together?
M: play games
K: play and play and play and play and play
17. How are you and your Daddy the same?
M: our necks are same
K: clothes
18. How are you and your Daddy different?
M: we've got different eyes
K: blue and pink blue and pink
19. How do you know your Daddy loves you?
M: because he always kisses me
K: give me cuddles and kisses
20. What does your Daddy like most about your Mummy?
M: talking to her
K: singing
21. Where is your Daddy's favourite place to go?
M: to McDonalds
K: WITH US WITH US!
22. What is one thing you wish you could change about your Daddy?
M: his hair into green hair that was straight
K: Change his hair into purple hair and put it into BUM hair!
23. What would your Daddy do with a million dollars?
M: buy a little mini tractor
K: buy a big tractor
24. What do you wish you could go and do with your Daddy?
M: go and stay the night at my friends house
K: play
25. What is one thing you hope never changes about your Daddy?
M: his legs
K: that he does a puzzle with us
M: Don't hit your little sister
K: Don't hit my big sister
2. What makes Daddy happy?
M: Smiling at him
K: You playing with us when Daddy's gone to work
3. What makes Daddy sad?
M: When we go away
K: Walking into the playroom
4. How does your Daddy make you laugh?
M: By poking a face
K: penis penis
5. What did your Daddy like to do when he was little?
M: join the fire brigade
K: play with you
6. How old is your Daddy?
M: 22
K: this big [standing on tiptoe with arms raised]
7. How tall is your Daddy?
K: This big [photo]
M: no this big, I?m bigger [photo]
8. What is his favorite thing to watch on TV?
M: The news
K: Garfield
9. What does your Daddy do when you're not there?
M: Talks to Kaitereo or talks to hisself
K: play with Mapera
10. What is your Daddy really good at?
M: building
K: aeroplane
11. What is your Daddy not very good at?
M: reaching things cos he sometimes gets the wrong thing
K: not working
12. What does your Daddy do for his job?
M: works at the airport. He says NO to everything
K: he builds his shed
13. What is your Daddy's favourite food?
M: Meat
K: Cake
14. What makes you proud of your Daddy?
M: being a prince
K: give me cuddles
15. If your Daddy were a cartoon character, who would he be?
M: Mickey Mouse
K: Dorothy the Dinosaur
16. What do you and your Daddy do together?
M: play games
K: play and play and play and play and play
17. How are you and your Daddy the same?
M: our necks are same
K: clothes
18. How are you and your Daddy different?
M: we've got different eyes
K: blue and pink blue and pink
19. How do you know your Daddy loves you?
M: because he always kisses me
K: give me cuddles and kisses
20. What does your Daddy like most about your Mummy?
M: talking to her
K: singing
21. Where is your Daddy's favourite place to go?
M: to McDonalds
K: WITH US WITH US!
22. What is one thing you wish you could change about your Daddy?
M: his hair into green hair that was straight
K: Change his hair into purple hair and put it into BUM hair!
23. What would your Daddy do with a million dollars?
M: buy a little mini tractor
K: buy a big tractor
24. What do you wish you could go and do with your Daddy?
M: go and stay the night at my friends house
K: play
25. What is one thing you hope never changes about your Daddy?
M: his legs
K: that he does a puzzle with us
Word association with small children
Word association with small children
L is me, M is Mapera, K is Kaitereo
L: Buggy
M: Ten
K: Gunga gunga gunga
L: rubbish
M: Light
K: Mumpa bumpa bump hahahaha
L: gobbledegook
M: Alice
K: Akug
L: hamster
M: Mamster
K: Canster, oh no Penis
L: vagina
K: Daffodil
M: crown
L: queen
M: King
K: penis
L: Bottom
M: princess
K: daffodil, oh penis
L: Flower
M: petal
K: [laughing too hard to speak]
L is me, M is Mapera, K is Kaitereo
L: Buggy
M: Ten
K: Gunga gunga gunga
L: rubbish
M: Light
K: Mumpa bumpa bump hahahaha
L: gobbledegook
M: Alice
K: Akug
L: hamster
M: Mamster
K: Canster, oh no Penis
L: vagina
K: Daffodil
M: crown
L: queen
M: King
K: penis
L: Bottom
M: princess
K: daffodil, oh penis
L: Flower
M: petal
K: [laughing too hard to speak]
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Classic quote
We've been reading a book about a little boy who gets an imaginary friend who comes to live with him when his baby brother is born. The imaginary friend (Hullaballoony) is very naughty, and the little boy (Joe) doesn't really like him but can't get rid of him. It all ends very nicely, and is a lovely book, but it got Mapera thinking.
"The naughty mermaid does my bad things Mummy" she said to me
"Well," says I "if that naughty mermaid comes here, you boot it out and tell it that it's not welcome in our house"
"I'm gonna kick it in the knickers" says she
That's my girl.
"The naughty mermaid does my bad things Mummy" she said to me
"Well," says I "if that naughty mermaid comes here, you boot it out and tell it that it's not welcome in our house"
"I'm gonna kick it in the knickers" says she
That's my girl.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Smug Mummy Moment
I was tired today, and grumpy, and found my kids very irritating, even though they were behaving very well. I decided to try and do something nice, so when I picked Mapera up from Kindy we went to a couple of shops, then to the library.
I was walking down the street, watching Mapera skip along in the sunshine, with her little sister galloping to catch up and I thought how lovely it all was. We went into the post shop and I walked to the counter pushing the buggy, thinking about what I needed to do when I heard rustling. Like little hands rummaging through a basket of interesting sparkly things.
I turned around ready to bark "Hands off!" and I saw my two precious girls standing next to the Basket of Temptation with their hands clasped behind their backs as they watched two other kids pulling all the shiny pens out of the sparkly notebooks. I was so proud and amazed that I finished up at the counter, then knelt down with them in the middle of the shop and told them how proud I was and how great I thought they were.
We all skipped back to the library and they got 2 books each and a Super Good Bonus star on their star chart at home.
I was walking down the street, watching Mapera skip along in the sunshine, with her little sister galloping to catch up and I thought how lovely it all was. We went into the post shop and I walked to the counter pushing the buggy, thinking about what I needed to do when I heard rustling. Like little hands rummaging through a basket of interesting sparkly things.
I turned around ready to bark "Hands off!" and I saw my two precious girls standing next to the Basket of Temptation with their hands clasped behind their backs as they watched two other kids pulling all the shiny pens out of the sparkly notebooks. I was so proud and amazed that I finished up at the counter, then knelt down with them in the middle of the shop and told them how proud I was and how great I thought they were.
We all skipped back to the library and they got 2 books each and a Super Good Bonus star on their star chart at home.
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